Never Coming Home
by CelticWolfSong
Summary: Nezumi has been gone for too long. Shion has tried waiting, he's been patient, but how much is too much? WARNING: SAD AHEAD WARNING TWO: Suicide and character death
1. Chapter 1

_""You'll be fine."___

_That's what he said. But how can I be fine? I have grown accustomed to his prescience, his sarcastic remarks, even his hatred of soup that is the smallest bit too salty...his fingertips tilting my chin up so I may meet his beautiful gray eyes...the feel of his lips against mine in a goodbye kiss. The ghost of that kiss lingers, the ghost of him speaking to me. Nezumi, where have you gone? I wonder...___

_Do you still remember me? It's me, Shion. Please, Nezumi. You promised to come back to me...___

_I'm lost, Nezumi. You taught me to be human. I was human when you stole my heart. You still have it. At least...at least return it to me so that I won't feel hollow like this. But will it change?"_

Shion placed the pen down on the table, his hands trembling a little as he placed them in his lap. The letter ley before him, tantalizing, silent, and glowing faintly in the candlelight. The words, black and staring, seemd to be etched into the paper. The letter was meaningless anyway; Shion had no idea where Nezumi was and had no way to reach him. The little white mouse had stayed with him, but it was too far a distance and definitely too risky to attempt a mouse delivery.

He sighed and pressed the letter to his lips, wishing he could feel Nezumi's against his, wanting desperately to see the other man again. Four years. It had been four years. "Reunion will come." Was that truly the case? Shion froze when he felt a warm tear trail down his cheek,and he stood hurriedly to run to the bathroom as he felt the onslaught begin to overtake him.

Tomorrow would be the eighth anniversary of his meeting Nezumi, his twentieth birthday. As he looked in the mirror, he saw an older man, eyes deeper, as they knew more sorrow. His face wasn't as round as it had been, making his cheekbones more pronounced and thus the snakelike scar that coiled lovingly around him.

As Shion washed his face, his sleeves slipped, revealing the harsh red ribbons inflicted across his wrists. He flinched, covering them again. In these four years he hasd lost everything. His mother had contracted cancer, and in the ruined state of No.6 there were no doctors to attend to her. Safu was gone, taken by Elyurias,and now more than ever it felt like Nezumi had abandoned him. Day after day the feeling that he had done something terribly wrong had overtaken him, and every day he had to clean dripping rubies from a blade.

Again Shion met his own crimson gaze in the mirror, and he felt more tears roll down his face.

Drip.

Drip.

Scarlet drops beaded along his skin, dying the canvas of his skin a lovely red. Jolie rougue, he thought with a wry smile, wincing only a little. Not enough pain, so the blade sunk deeper. "This is it, Nezumi. I'm sorry. But you're never coming home." He set down the knife, then walked to his desk in a dreamlike state, picking up the pen and adding to his letter.

"If you ever get this, goodbye. Nezumi, I love you."

Shion set down the pen for the last time and walked back to the bathroom, where he picked up the bloodstained knife one more time, whispered "I love you", and drove it home.

And Shion couldn't help but smile as scarlet pooled around him like broken wings.


	2. Chapter 2

_Midnight__  
__Not a sound from the pavement__  
__Has the moon lost her memory?__  
__She is smiling alone...__  
_  
Nezumi took quick steps, passing as only a brief shadow through the light cast by the street lamps. It had taken a good deal of effort to track down the boy who had saved him. No.6 had changed. The walls were gone, the population was integrated between the riffraff of the West Block and the surviving citizens of No.6 it was no longer pristine, in fact, the change made it feel friendlier, more welcome. Nezumi was still uncomfortable in this place, however, but now it was time to return to Shion as he had promised. The night was black, devoid of life, and oddly quiet. It was as if the world were mourning for something he couldn't see. The only light was the moon, and even she seemed to be smiling with a hint of regret and sorrow.

Nezumi hated to admit it to himself, but he missed the little idiot. Shion was an airhead and overly idealistic, but it was endearing rather than deterring. After spending a winter with the cheerful boy, Nezumi had found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with him. It scared him. That attraction, the attachment...he couldn't risk it. Too much pain. He was fine alone. But he's promised reunion, and it had been four years. He missed the little idiot too much.

Nezumi's hand rested on the doorknob for a moment, hesitating, then he opened it easily. Fool, he thought fondly. Did Shion realize how stupid it was to leave his door open? Apparently not. The tall young man slipped into the room, then blanched at the smell of blood and the drips leading into the bathroom. His heart stopped. No. Shion. No!  
This wasn't allowed to...

Shion's name exploded from his lips in a panicked cry as he rushed forward and opened the door.  
His worst fears fell into place perfectly, making him hollow and afraid. Shion's beautiful red eyes were eternally closed, his face almost as snowy pale as his hair. Tears had yet to dry on his face, and the blood still spread across the floor. "No." Nezumi croaked, scooping the smaller man into his lap and cradling him. "I was too late...no...I can't...SHION!" he cried. The sound was terrible, it tore from his throat and resounded, echoing in his mind and ears. "It's my fault, oh God, it's my fault. No. Shion please." he whispered, begging with the still-warm body to be alive, to be his. It couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes. He could have been there. It was his fault. No. It couldn't be true.

His lips trembled, and the beginnings of a few notes fluttered past them. The least he could do was sing his soul to sleep.


End file.
